Episode 135: I'll make it worth your while
Previously in Leeford Village:
PC Gary Carr wants to arrest Adam, but Daniel doesn’t want to press charges for the punch. Cody has salmonella and Daniel and Adam suspect that Meredith might have it too. Sherry doesn’t know that Carlos has been arrested and she goes to visit him. Carlos is out on bail, but Gary re-arrests him. Jason tells George about the advance the publishers have offered him, and George wants some of the money. George also threatens to tell everyone else about Jason’s windfall.
~
‘But, Dad!’
‘No “buts”, Megan,’ snaps Frank, ‘and take that incredulous look off your face.’
‘Incredulous?’ she fires back. ‘That’s not very nice!’
Frank gives his daughter his best sheepish look. It tells her that he’s sorry, usually followed by an offer of a tea or coffee. He doesn’t disappoint in his style of apology.
‘Two sugars for me, Dad, I need the energy. How can I possibly cope with a father who wants to become a lion tamer?’
‘Don’t worry, love,’ Frank replies, smiling. ‘I have a plan. I’ll be quite safe.’
Megan grimaces and cannot leave it at that.
‘But Stephen and the rest of the committee have said “no”!’
‘I told you, Megan, it’ll be fine.’
Frank picks up his mobile and walks through the kitchen to the back door leading to the garden. Out of earshot from his doubting daughter, he searches for the person he wants and presses Call.
‘Cody, I need your help. I’ll make it worth your while.’
A week has passed since Cody’s health scare. The course of antibiotics took a grip within three days, and, just like Cody, he was back on the beer within six.
‘This had better be good, Frank.’
‘Oh, are you feeling better?’
‘I’m a trooper, as you know, and even salmonella can’t keep a Thornton down for long.’
‘What about Meredith? It must have been a worry, with the baby due and everything,’ asks Frank.
‘She’s not too bad. She’s had more scans and the baby’s fine. Meredith is back home, and Adam is doing everything for her.’
Cody pauses for Frank to explain what he wants.
‘We won’t go into it on the phone,’ says Frank, ‘but we need to meet to discuss the matter. Bring a friend. I need two men. What about Ted?’
‘I’ll ask him,’ says Cody.
‘Great. Now this is where we need to meet…’
~
Stephen Miller knows that the meeting he is about to enter is the most important one of the year. Unlike Frank, he doesn’t strut around the village with an air of self-importance. Stephen knows he is important. He is Sergeant Stephen Miller of Leeford Village Police Station, reporting to Chief Superintendent Smith at Central Banfield (even though Stephen is only a Sergeant). However self-effacing and modest he might seem, he is nonetheless proud to be acting chair of Leeford Village Parish Council. His modesty and humility allow him to do something that Frank would hate: let Doctor Jeremy Roberts run the meeting to decide who runs which stall this year at the Leeford Village Fête.
‘Okay!’ shouts Jeremy Roberts. ‘Attention please!’
The noise, mainly caused by Cody, George and Ken, eventually abates.
‘Thank you, gentlemen,’ says Jeremy in a very statesmanlike way.
‘And ladies!’ pipes up Vera Cleeve.
Jeremy coughs. ‘Yes, er, and ladies.’ He continues. ‘I think you will agree that last year we rather, shall I say, over-egged the pudding at the fête. There will be no Elton John tribute act, no ‘Find the Helmet’ competition and I would prefer to avoid a ‘Best Cucumber’ competition if possible. The least said about that the better.’
‘What’s left after all that then?’ demands Cody.
‘You may well ask,’ replies Jeremy. ‘It might be better if we stick to the old favourites⸺’
‘Favourites!’ cries Ken. ‘Who says they are our favourites?’
‘Well,’ replies Jeremy, jumping back in. ‘There’s Ethel’s cake stall, the tombola (that’s me), soft drinks and nibbles. Oh, could you do that again, Sally?’
‘Of course,’ she replies. ‘Ted loves a nibble.’
‘Ooh!’ says Ken. ‘Does he now?’
A glare from Jeremy settles Ken down in his seat. Only last week Jeremy had Ken in a vulnerable position in his surgery. The type of examination that many men of his age go through at some stage. ‘Shouldn’t you buy me dinner first?’ said Ken at the time. The look that Jeremy gives him on this occasion suggests he may well be prepared to breach patient confidentially if it helps to persuade Ken to be quiet – for once.
‘As I was saying,’ continues Jeremy, now understanding why Frank gets so agitated in meetings. ‘Chuck the sponge. Home-made cake stall - and, no, Cody, the stall isn’t homemade, it’s the cakes – pies and pasties, and, last but not least, Jason’s coconut shy.’
‘Is that it?’ says George, with a thinly disguised look of disgust.
‘Yes,’ says the deputy to the acting chair of Leeford Parish Council. ‘Yes. Shall we take a vote?’
Cody nods his agreement, hoping the vote doesn’t take too long. I’ve got to pick up Ted and get over to Bridgnorth in half an hour, he thinks to himself.
~
As the parish council committee meeting progresses, Frank is meeting Colin Simpson to discuss how they deal with Councillor Lindale.
‘Haven’t got long, Colin, I’m seeing two men about a lion.’
‘A what?’
‘Long story. Let’s focus on Councillor James Lindale.’
Colin is not holding back. He is out to get Lindale. Colin has been bullied by the leader of the council since the day he took over from Councillor John Sotherby, the man who tried to bribe Frank when Sotherby was trying to push through the bypass. A bypass that was being built by the council leader’s brother. Lindale is apparently cut from the same cloth and will do anything to get his way. Colin would like to see Lindale arrested and thrown off the council. Just like Sotherby.
Nothing is ever good enough for Lindale. Colin presents as a slim, bespectacled, inoffensive person. The type of man you might see behind the desk at a library or your local bank, but Frank has always liked Colin. A good man to have alongside you in a crisis. Quiet and submissive, but cool and intelligent. ‘Cool’ is not the description with which Frank would label Colin today.
‘I’ve already told you about Bordsley,’ says Colin. ‘It’s clear now that the census is a complete sham. With the Wolverhampton border changing, he wants to get in first and merge Bordsley with Leeford. Regardless of the result of the census – or any lobbying from residents - if Lindale is left in charge, the two villages will merge and Lindale’s brother-in-law, Duncan Thoroughgood, will be in control locally. You’ll be out, Frank.’
‘Too late for that, Colin. I’ve resigned.’
‘Sorry to hear that, but you still want to save Leeford, Don’t you?’
‘Of course. I’ll talk to Stephen and Jeremy. I’ve had enough of local politics.’
‘You’re giving up?’ asks Colin.
‘No, I need to slow down. Young blood, you know, and all that. I’ll pass the baton on to Stephen Miller if he wants it. This is my last fight.’
Colin taps the table, getting Frank’s attention. If Cody or Ken had done it, it would have been a hand slam.
‘That’s not all, Frank.’
‘All?’
‘I have documentary evidence that Lindale has dealings with at least two building contractors in Birmingham. Contracts for work in East Banfield were issued in the last six months without council approval.’
‘Went through on the nod?’ asks Frank.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Right, Colin. Let’s see what the town clerk and our new parish council leader have to say! I must go, Colin. Sorry. I have another meeting. Ring me tomorrow. We’ll get things moving.’
~
‘Cody, why does Frank Watson want to meet us in a remote country pub?’ says Ted. ‘What’s wrong with my gaff?’
Cody shrugs his shoulders, slams his car door and leads Ted into The Fields of Athenry, a tiny pub on the outskirts of Bridgnorth.
‘Well, old mate, it’s as nice a place as any, but I’ll admit it’s a bit cloak and dagger. I don’t think he wants anyone in the village to see us with him. Anyway, here’s the man himself. Oi, Frank! Get ‘em in! Two pints please!’
Frank reluctantly orders the drinks, asking if they can be delivered to the table. After a swift rebuff from the barmaid with an ‘are you joking, mate? That’ll be nine pounds please’, Frank carries three pints and joins Ted and Cody at the table by the window overlooking the pub garden. Cody is watching a young family where the dad is lifting his baby son into the air – both of them smiling.
‘Cody.’ No response. ‘Cody! Your pint.’
‘Sorry, Frank. Miles away.’
Ted takes the first sip of his beer, slaps the table and asks, ‘what’s this about, Frank?’
Frank takes his first taste of a beer specially imported from Dublin. It’s no coincidence that the pub takes its name from an Irish folk song.
‘Lovely song, you know,’ Frank muses.
‘Eh?’ growls Ted.
‘Fields of Athenry.’
Cody snaps out of his daydream and glares at Frank. ‘Never mind the pub name. What do you want?’
‘This might sound odd, lads, but I want you to be a lion.’
Their jaws drop, and they don’t even bother to ask. They know Frank of old. He has a plan.
‘You see, I wanted to do lion taming at the fête and, as you know, I am no longer chair. The committee won’t allow real lion taming, so I thought I would do the next best thing.’
‘What’s that?’ asks Cody.
‘You and Ted in a lion suit. You know, like a pantomime cow, except, er, a lion. Ted at the back, you at the front with a recording of a lion’s roar in some sort of electronic device.’
All Ted can say is, ‘oh…’
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